所謂等價交換,就是一個人將能得到回報的價值與其付出的價值相等。著名日本漫畫神作《鋼之鍊金術師》正是以此為核心發展故事,探討回報與付出是否必然相等、會否出現特例打破這種設定原則及其存在之意義等。 舊版《鋼》(內容發展及結局與漫畫不同之版本)動畫片頭有開場白:「人不作出犧牲,就不會得到任何回報,想得到一樣東西,就必須付出同等的代價。這就是煉金術的基本原則──等價交換。當時我們兩個,深信這一點就是世界的真理。」去年有文章指這段開場白中所說提及「當時」二字,便斷言他們最後發現等價交換不是真理。然而到漫畫尾聲,主角確實親自「推翻」了等價交換。 主角愛德華與弟弟、親友經歷重重波折和歷險之後,最終所深信的是「進階版等價交換」──假設自己所付出的是十份,那所能得到的回報可以是十份再加上「別人自己額外付出的一份」。以漫畫最終話男女主角的對話為實例,愛德華在火車站跟雲尼說:「我把我人生的一半給你,所以請把你人生的一半給我吧。」雲尼的答案完美地首先證實了愛德華提出的「進階版等價交換」原則:「別說一半了,全部都給你。」原本以等價交換為目標的愛德華以人生一半作為付出,卻出乎意料地使雲尼把全部人生都交給他,這種「回報」便是遠超出原本的等價,而不只是等價交換般簡單。 ______________________________ 直到現在,我個人仍然深信「等價交換」或「十加一交換」原則是正確的,對任何人於任何事情亦如是適用,關鍵完全在於一個人本身對事情的心態與角度,也關係到個人對付出是否「值得」的主觀感受。若果要將人生中每件事情都量化為價值的話,會是一件非常痛苦的事情,就像要將人與人之間的情愛和各種關係量化為數字,而後人們從本來會用心感受情愛轉變成事事計較得失、功利的數字機器。 所謂「等價交換」,並非要將每件事情量化為價值,而是「值得」與否的主觀感受,也並非要人們將事情通通量化以衡量付出與回報是否等價關係,反而是要使人明白:好些回報一直存在而自己卻不曾發現,還滿腹怨念怨天尤人,而沒有想過是自己太早將「回報」定型為「成功」、「勝利」的結果而一概否定各種失敗,過程中的種種亦被拋諸腦後不再當成任何一回事。 一般人或許會認為,無論在人際關係、工作、學業、競爭之中,勝利與成功才是唯一的「回報」。考試要取得最高分,要過三爆四、談戀愛一定要愛得轟轟烈烈,追求心儀對象要把對方據為己有、比賽也要取得最終勝利才算是成功,預料能得到這些理想回報是正常不過的事情,人們亦會因此而沉醉於充滿滿足感的回報之中,然而這絕不是唯一的「回報」。無論從積極方面抑或現實角度來說,「回報」其實都是各式各樣,當中包括了「經驗」與「回憶」這類虛無而確實存在於付出過程之中的回報。 許多人都會經歷過失敗、遇過種種挫折,尤其是自己付出甚多,最後還是沒能得到相應的回報,更使人灰心氣餒,這乃人之常情。以戀愛為例,總有人會覺得自己深愛對方並且為她默默付出過許許多多,卻沒能得到她的芳心而絕望,便論斷他所付出的沒能得到相應回報。但請再想想,在追求的過程之中,有感到快樂過嗎?有享受過嗎?會因為她的微笑而感到喜悅嗎?付出過程之中的回憶,包括了你們二人之間的交流與感情,已經是寶貴而不應漠視的回報,再長遠一點來說,你沒能跟她一起便使自己多了跟其他更好的對象一起的機會,這也何嘗不是一種回報?或許有人會問,為何一個人付出最多,卻沒能成功追求,另一個付出了很少,卻已經能奪她芳心?這大概與上文提及的「值得與否」概念同出一轍:所謂付出是不能比較量化,而是由個人主觀情感所影響而決定,只有自己透徹地思考付出過甚麼,得到了甚麼之後,才能明白值得與否,也不會再追究為何「失敗」。 又例如阿強埋首苦讀一整個學期,晚晚留在圖書館寒窗苦讀,最後GPA還是沒能過三,便覺得所研習的、所付出的都付諸東流,功虧一簣,然而撫心自問,這真的是徒勞無功嗎?學習之中,自然會有大量知識灌輸入腦,這些知識也許未能即時為你帶來回報(即考試分數),但明天、下個星期或者明年今日,會再次打開自己的知識寶庫尋找當日所學的知識來學以致用。又正如一個運動員參加比賽,偶而一次失敗絕不代表他沒有得到回報,付出之中、競賽之中,他可能得到了觀眾的掌聲、隊友與教練的信任與支持、還有累積下來的「經驗」,便是無可代替的回報。這亦說明,好些回報是急不來,而要用時間耐心蘊釀,假以時日便深諳當日所付出的終能換來豐富的回報。 太執著於勝利與成功而忽略其他「回報」的人,要不是完美追求者,就是甘於活在痛苦裡的人,因為他們眼中就只有勝利與成功,付出過程的種種都置之不理,而不自知已經錯失了能夠讓自己回味一生的豐收回報。也許有人會說這是鳩快樂的偽正能量,但我還是認為,在怨天尤人之前先認清自己的無知,徹底地想清楚付出與回報,了解每個人所做的事情都是有所回報,而不會有所謂白費。 以一句話作總結:過份執著回報的人會否定自己的付出,樂意付出的人能得到意想不到的回報,這就是「等價交換」。
reference
http://www.passiontimes.hk/article/05-27-2014/15538
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2016年8月18日星期四
2016年8月9日星期二
10 Things Extraordinary People Do Differently
10 Things Extraordinary People Do Differently
There are ordinary people and then there are extraordinary people. The cool thing is, there’s no limit to how many extraordinary people there can be. You have the power to leave ordinary behind and join the ranks of the extraordinary. While this isn’t an exhaustive list, these 10 things should give you a pretty good idea of what it takes to become an extraordinary person.
1. They give sincere support to others
Think back to the best teacher(s) or mentor(s) you ever had. I’d be willing to bet they were genuinely interested in your success. That’s because extraordinary people want other people to become extraordinary as well. If you want to become extraordinary, make an extra effort to support the people around you.
2. They focus on people
Gary Vaynerchuk is one of my favorite examples of this. The man has a ton on his plate but he is constantly focused on the people in his life. For example, Gary has over a million followers on Twitter and often asks if there is anything (within reason) that he can do for them. What’s more impressive is that he actually follows through on a lot of the requests. The man is simply extraordinary in everything he does because he understands focusing on people is a worthwhile endeavor.
3. They aren’t afraid to be wrong
When ordinary people are wrong and find themselves at a dead end, they give up. They become frustrated and mad that they failed. Extraordinary people thrive in these situations. Why? Because every dead end eliminates a wrong path in their search for the road to success. They turn around from those dead ends and get busy exploring every other road until they find the right one. Failing just means they are one step closer to succeeding. It’s OK to be wrong.
4. They give credit where it’s deserved
How much does it cost to compliment someone? Absolutely nothing. Even though giving someone the credit they deserve is free, it does wonders for the recipient. Try it. You literally have nothing to lose.
5. They are considerate of others
It’s selfish to live your life without caring about those around you. We all have to share the same planet. Being considerate of others makes it enjoyable for everyone.
6. They love life
Life is the most precious gift you have. Extraordinary people understand they only get one life to live and it’s up to them to make it great. When you choose to love life, anything feels possible.
7. They push their limits
Travis Rice, world renowned snowboarder, once said:
“We will never know our full potential unless we push ourselves to find it. It’s this self discovery that inevitably takes us to the wildest places on earth.”
Extraordinary people understand their potential because they are constantly pushing themselves to find it. We are the only ones who define our limits. If you push yourself, I promise you will be amazed at how much you can actually do. But you’ll never know until you try.
8. They believe in themselves
Your mind is a fascinating thing. When doubt enters your mind, it can have seriously damning effects. Extraordinary people will often have thoughts of doubt creep in, but they never entertain them. Pardon my nostalgia, but remember The Little Engine That Could? While it’s a fictitious children’s story, it illustrates the undeniable fact that when you believe in yourself, you can accomplish extraordinary things.
9. They know their purpose in life
Whenever I think about finding purpose in life, I can’t help but think ofViktor Frankl. Viktor survived three horrifying years in holocaust concentration camps. What kept him from committing suicide, as many of his camp mates did, was the idea that his suffering had to have meaning. His life had to have a purpose. Viktor truly was an extraordinary person because he understood his purpose in life. By the way, I highly suggest reading his book. It’s a life changer.
10. They put thoughts and words into action
You have to do something! The Wright Brothers had an extraordinary idea that man could fly. Had they left it at that, who knows where we would be today. It’s because they busted their butts trying every possibility they could think of that the world today is so easily connected. They turned their thoughts into action, and in so doing, engraved their names on the wall of extraordinary people.
reference.
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-things-extraordinary-people-differently.html
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